Don’t Get Caught Looking at Your Shoes*

When you realize it’s time to retire a favorite pair of shoes it makes you reflect on everything those shoes have been through … err … everything that you’ve been through. This particular pair of gray Chucks have been to all but one or two concerts since 2014. I’ve put some serious miles on these babies too. They’ve walked around DC, gallivanted through Central Florida, explored the Black Forest in Germany, and been on the Underground in London. They’re still in decent condition except for a smell. However, the smell of these aren’t nearly as horrendous as my first pair of Chucks. I’m a little embarrassed to say that I still have them. They’re in my closet, festering in their own stink inside a box. I’m calling myself out for keeping them this long past their retirement but … ya know… memories.

Walk a Mile

Close to being new.

I bought my first pair of Chucks in high school at a Hot Topic with my best friend in tow and wore them for close to ten years. I didn’t realize I wore them for that fucking long until I stopped to calculate it for that sentence. Fuck. Anyway, they smell absolutely horrendous. I mean horrible. When you consider what they’ve been through and the fact that they’re 10+ years old, I guess it isn’t a surprise.

The toe boxes used to have red spray on it from a volunteering adventure with a friend. There might have been something written on one of them too but your guess is as good as mine. Duct tape holds the heels together however at this point not even duct tape can help them. The studs on the side are from when my mother found our Bedazzler in a closet. I manually put the studs on which took some trial and error as the barbs would rub against my feet..

In January 2008 I wore these bad boys to New Mexico. Not a good idea. Icy puddles and snow + holes = me almost getting frost bite. After one particularly wet day, I left them outside to dry and they froze. I think it’s this trip where the stink really started to set in.

I can’t tell you why I kept these utterly foul smelling Chucks. I’d wore them for so long and they had memories attached to them. Like I mentioned in another post, sometimes we hang on to things because they have sentimental value. In this case it was a fucking pair of Chucks. I’m going to say goodbye to my purple and Gray (concert) Chucks. One reeks worse than the other but no one needs to wear one pair of shoes for nearly ten years let alone keep them for longer.

A Picture is Worth Thousand Words

Chucks? In New Mexico’s winter? WTF was I thinking?


Torn jeans? Really? I was unprepared for the cold to say the least.
Dee loves them because she’s gross.


Deeper in color than a new pair of Chucks.**



I kept a pair of stinky ass Chucks for over ten years and finally decided to throw them out.




*As Fast As. “Something Fierce.” By As Fast As. Open Letter to the Damned. Insomniac/Interscope Records, 2006. CD.

**Masked Intruder. “First Star Tonight.” By Masked Intruder. Love and Other Crimes. Pure Noise Records, 2016. CD.